My grand-daughter, Mela (now six), has taught me another lesson when I joined her for the first time at the beach.
When walking on the beach I always look for shells--perfect shells. As I joined my husband and grand-daughter walking on the beach, he whispered to me that he and Mela had very different ideas of shell hunting. She was bringing him all kinds of broken shells to put in the bag to take home. I started hunting for my perfect shells and she was bring me all kinds of shells fragments. I explained we were looking for whole shells and showed her examples. At first, she said she liked the ones she was finding. She kept bringing me the broken shells commenting on each on: "Look at this one! It has all colors swirling on it! . . . Grandma Jodi, this one looks like a bird! . . . This one is smooth . . . Look at the shape of this one . . . " She was seeing the beauty in each shell, but after watching us for awhile--with our example of seeking "perfect" shells, she started to reject shells saying, "This one is ugly!" and throwing it. I suddenly realized she had been right all along in seeing the beauty in the "imperfections" and although the shells she had picked up were not perfect, they were actually more interesting than the ones we were collecting. I began really looking at the shells/shell fragments. The variety of textures, color, patterns and shapes were so much more interesting than a collection of shells made up homogeneous samplings of a few varieties. I had to undo the brainwashing I had just completed on my grand-daughter! Together, we began looking and talking about interesting shells whose beauty was shown in their differences. Accepting the shells as they were and seeking and admiring their unique beauty and qualities. Isn't that the way we should look at people? By not seeking to group everyone into categories of sameness, we can begin to appreciate people for who they are--seeking and admiring uniqueness, special qualities and strengths. I am grateful to have grandchildren who can teach me to look and exam things in a different way. Adults think they have everything figured out (me included) when in actuality, they can learn so much from curious and creative children.
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